So, another Derby has come and gone. To the world outside Derby City, the “Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports” is, at most, a couple hours of viewing enjoyment on a spring Saturday afternoon. To Louisvillians, of course, it’s much more: a two-week extravaganza with a celebratory feel; a chance to glimpse celebrities from around the globe; short, lazy days at the office and lots of early business closings; an excuse to acquire an elaborate hat; and a reason to buy up half the supply of fresh mint in the northern quadrant of the country.
Continue reading Well done, good and faithful servants →

Great news! Your great Aunt Hortense finally stopped sending you a hand-written $15 check for your birthday. This year, she sent you a $75 coupon to a swanky restaurant you’ve been dying to try. Now what?
Continue reading Coupon etiquette →

The day after Valentine’s Day, a friend asked where my boyfriend had taken me to dinner. I’m afraid a whoop of laughter escaped before I could clap a hand over my mouth.
Continue reading Amateur night →

My dear, departed mom was a housewife in the ’60s and ’70s. In addition to being enamored of all sorts of convenience foods (such as skillet-dinner-in-a-box and instant mashed potatoes), she was a starry-eyed brand-name-foods aficionada.
Continue reading Don’t shun the store brand →

OK, people: Those who favor keeping children home and away from restaurant dining rooms, step to this side of the line. Those who maintain that children are people, too, and thereby have a right to go anywhere their parents or guardians accompany them, step to the other side. Now, prepare to dance — because it’s not that black and white.
Continue reading Fed and not heard? →

You’re out to dinner at a favorite restaurant with five good friends when you spot a notice in tiny print at the bottom of the menu: “An automatic gratuity of 18 percent will be added to parties of six or more.”

You might be tempted to take umbrage. Perhaps you pride yourself on tipping well. Maybe you regularly tip 20 percent unless service is a disaster. Why would a restaurant, by policy, require you to pay something that is, by definition, a gift to be given at your discretion?
Continue reading Gratuitous gratuity →

Who doesn’t love Thanksgiving? Oh, my — I see a few of you raising your hands. That’s probably because it’s being held at your house, and you remember being up to your elbows in a sink of soapy water at 9 p.m. last year, muttering “Never again. Next year, we’re going out to eat.”
Continue reading Run Thanksgiving like a restaurant at home →

“Where do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know; where do you want to eat?”

Familiar scenario? You’re not alone. All too often, we end up dining somewhere we’ve been many times before. Familiarity is soothing. Predictability is comfortable — like an old pair of shoes you love to wear but hope no one scrutinizes too closely.
Continue reading Let’s go somewhere new tonight →

A server glides through a packed dining room, projecting calm serenity and competence. She breezes through the door that separates the dining room from the “engine room.” As it swings shut behind her, she is delivered to the heat, clamor and chaos of the kitchen, and her smile drops away. She exclaims, to everyone and no one in particular, “Oh my god — I just got triple-sat! I’m in the weeds!”
Continue reading In the weeds →

It happens to every restaurant patron at some point: disappointment over poor service, a substandard dish or an unpleasant atmosphere. The trick to getting a satisfactory resolution in such situations is twofold. First, attempt to pinpoint the source of the trouble. Second, make your dismay known to the proper parties – that means management.
Continue reading When restaurants attack →